Signs You Are Too Drunk!

*You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
*You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
*Job interfering with your drinking.
*Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
*The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
*Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
*24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case- coincidence??? I think not!
*Two hands and just one mouth....- Now THAT'S a drinking problem!
*You can focus better with one eye closed.
*The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
*You fall off the floor...
*Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
*Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
*Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
*At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
*Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
*You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.- hmm...
*Thw whole bar says 'hi' when you come in...
*You think the 4 Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Men (or Women).
*Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.
*Roseanne looks good.
*Don't recognize husband (or wife) unless seen through bottom of glass.
*That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
*I'm as jober as a sudge.
*The shrub's drunk from to frequent watering.
*You wake up screaming "TORO TORO TORO!" in the middle of the night.

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